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Thursday 24 December 2020

Three Short Stories

Thanks to Amaryllis for giving us these three short stories to keep us amused.

TEA TIME TALES


Terry, the terribly tuneless trombonist, tried tromboning, ‘Twankydillo’, troubling the touchy twosome, twenty–three, The Towers. Tremendous thuds, throwing things, taunting threats… Terrible!

Thus Terry tried the triangle. Terry’s tame thrush, tunefully trilled. Together they tried the ‘Titanic’ theme. Terry tested the tuba, then the trumpet, trumpeting the telling tune to ‘Thousands…’ The thrush twittering to time.

Terry turned to the tambourine – taking time to train the talented thrush to trill the theme to ‘The Terminator’.

Then there’s the time Terry taught toucans. The trouble though, Terry’s truculent toucans took things. Tasty tomatoey toast, tinned tuna, tantalising tiramisu…

Together the two toucans tormented Tulip, Terry’s touchy tortoise, tenaciously taking Tulip’s ‘Turmits’.

Terry, tired to the teeth, tricked the toucans to try the treacle tart. Then they tried to take Tulip’s third turnip. ‘Tough,’ thought Terry. They trickled the thickening treacle. ‘Those thieving toucans, the treacle’s turned to toffee. They’re thwarted. Teehee!’

Then they thought to tease Terry. These two took Terry’s thyroid tablets, thereafter, the troubled toucans took to the trees towards the town. The trials, the tribulations…!

Terry telephoned the taxi that took Terry to the tip. There, taking the trombone, Terry transformed the tender tune, “Tiptoe through the Tulips” to terrifying thunderous trumpeting toots! Thus the tip took Terry’s tuneless trombone.

This tale terminates thus: Terry turned totally to the triangle, the tambourine, thrilling the trilling thrush, tempering Tulip the tortoise.




EPISODE E


Eventually elderly eccentric, Enrique Espinoza’s exhibition entitled: ‘Elgin’s Equivocal Experiences’, ended.

Enrique’s encore: ‘Empires Exposed’, excited Erica Ebernoe, (Endurance Electrics, ex-employee).



Every evening Ernest Edmundson, Erica’s escort, explored each enlightened exposé, expounding elicit escapades. Enrique Espinoza’s enterprising experiments, examined ersatz explanations.

Erica enthusiastically emailed Ernest. “Espinoza’s exposed empirical executives exploiting every émigré entirely, even enslavement ensued! Eventually every emigrant employee expelled! Evidently, egotistical employers engaged, exclusively, experienced experts! ‘Extremists!”



Enrique’s egregious, embarrassing exposure, electrified everyone, especially every evil, execrable establishment! Everyone’s expecting expiation. Even Erica’s Ernest’s extremely excited. “Enrique Espinoza’s extraordinary exposures, emboldened everyone! Enrique’s efforts evoke exultation everywhere!”

Excitedly exhausted, Erica exuberantly echoed Ernest’s enthusiasm. “Enrique’s exceeded everyone’s expectations! Enrique’s enabled everyone’s emancipation!”



Everybody extols Enrique Espinoza’s exceptional epithet: ‘Earth’s Emblem Epitomised’.

“Excellent ending!” exclaims Erica Ebernoe.




MY MATES


Memorable Movie moments move me. ‘Mad Max’, ‘Marathon Man’, ‘Mash’, ‘Memento’ …

Mum’s mania’s – magical melodies. ‘Magic Moments’, ‘Macarena’, ‘Moonshadow’, ‘Magpie’. ‘Magpie?’

My mum Mary, makes me marvellous mouthwatering meals. Mainly meaty mince mixes. My mum’s my mentor.

My main mate, Max, mimics making movies. Maxie – ‘Mighty Mouse’; me – moth-eaten ‘Maid Marian’! Meanie!

Moreover Max’s mental! Mischief-maker! Makes moronic masks – me, Martian monkey, mumbling: ‘Munchy, Munchy, Monster Munchy’. Max – Martian Master! Manhandling my magical Meccano, monopolising my model Maserati, mangling my microscope. Mum’ll murder me! Max makes me miserable…

Mum mentioned Maisie. “Maisie’s much more mild-mannered.”

Mmmm… Mmmm! Maisie – ‘Maid Marian’, me – ‘Martian Master’!

Marvellously, Max moved!

Maisie’s ‘Maid Marian’s’ magnificent!

Mum’s making Maisie magical minced muffins. Maisie’s mum’s making me massive minty mousses!

Maisie’s my main mate! Maisie makes me marvellously merry.

Mmmmm!


Four Songs From Alan

Here we have four songs from Alan. They were sent to me quite some time ago, so they are not specifically winter songs. Apologies for the delay and I hope next year we will all be together and singing these songs.

Buttercup Joe

Alan has introduced this song at Chichester and Worthing.

Download lyrics pdf file

Download mp3



England For Me

Alan writes: Patriotic, but about the nicer things of England, so not nationalistic.

Download lyrics pdf file

Download mp3



Love And The Ball

Alan writes: I thought this is an interesting song as it is the earliest such thing I can find re. stoolball, the local game that predated cricket but with similar rules. I used to play it at the Youth Club up in Surrey 'when I were a lad'.

Download lyrics pdf file

Download mp3



Off We Go A hunting

Alan writes: Just for fun. I don't which know set of words came first, Donkey or Fox. I added a verse to make it a bit Sus-sexy. Note that nobody caught Mr Reynard. Horses Neck is a cocktail.

Download lyrics pdf file

Download mp3


An Invitation...

We won't be having our usual “Winter Revels” party this year, but you – our singers – can still show us your party pieces!

You are invited to send in (by email to southdownsfolksingers@gmail.com) any contributions with a theme relevant to the time of year (Christmas, New Year, Wassailing, winter), and anything else you might have performed at the party, that you would like to share here on this website. Contributions may be text (poems, short stories, seasonal recipes, what you’ve been up to,...), images and audio recordings (readings and recitals of poems, stories, songs and other music). You can have your videos shown here too if you first upload them to YouTube and then send me a link, but please don't send video files directly to me as the large files involved always seem to cause problems.

So get writing, record a song or two on your mobile phone, take some photos over Christmas and the New Year and send it all in!

Sunday 13 December 2020

Lewes Virtual Session – Tuesday 15th December 2020

Hello again singers in Lewes or wherever you are. Early hopes of it “all being over by Christmas” having faded, here we are again, singing 2020 out virtually but still just as heartily. Here are my December suggestions with old, new, starting notes, first verse, chorus, harmonies HERE. Recordings done in previous months are marked *. Words for new songs included, let me know if you need others.

Singers in all three areas should have received the email with the links for three Zoom sessions – the usual Lewes evening slot Tuesday 15th 7:30pm and two afternoon sessions on Saturday 19th and Sunday 20th both at 3pm. If you haven’t had these and want to join in let me know and I will send them.

  • Let’s warm up with two songs about hills – from West Sussex an old favourite On Sussex Hills* by Hilaire Belloc and from East Sussex the newer Caburn Hill* written by Lewes singer Dave T. I hope you get some fresh air on a hill near you at some point over the festive season.
  • Next a quartet of familiar songs from our existing Christmas repertoire – The Holly bears a Berry, Masters in this Hall, The Moon Shone Bright and The Sussex Carol.
  • A short comfort and refreshment break then back to introduce two new carols which are known to those of us who usually sing with Brighton Pub Carols (which is taking place via some shared sets on Facebook this year). The Sinners’ Redemption originated in a broadside newspaper from the 1600s and is another of those unusual minor key morality carols where the “mirth” referred to is religious joy. In contrast Now Christmas is Come is a light and cheerful carol which was collected by Lucy Broadwood from the “Singing Baker of Cuckfield”.
  • Looking ahead to the wassailing season we have Wassail all your Apple Trees, a new simple round which was introduced by Alan from the Chichester group, and our old friend Sugar (Sussex) Wassail.
  • To finish our evening, and the year’s singing, West Sussex Drinking Song* and Thousands or More* to remind us of the things which really matter in life but cost little – companionship; drinking together, which doesn’t have to be alcohol, could be a hot chocolate; sunshine, which may be a bit hazy in winter but is still worth seeking out and sharing with your special people; and of course, singing a song which has a rousing chorus.

If I don’t see you at one of the meetings, I send greetings for Christmas, Hannukah, Winter Solstice or any holiday which you and yours may celebrate in the cold season and I hope to see you in 2021 which surely must be brighter than this year has been.

Best wishes, solidarity, golier etc!

Tina